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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314204">all time low</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/satendou/pseuds/satendou'>satendou</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Break Up, Creampie, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Multiple Orgasms, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Fingering, mentions of bullying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:01:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,660</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314204</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/satendou/pseuds/satendou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>how does one go about fixing things when they don't even know what's wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Tendou Satori/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Oh, come on, ‘Kaashi,” you said, setting your hand on your hip. You were standing around in the middle of the classroom with him and a few others, waiting for your professor to show up who was no doubt getting a coffee from the overflowing Starbucks down the street. Class would be half over before he finally arrived. “It’s just a few scary movies.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, _____. I have to study and I just know that trying to watch movies with you and study is gonna be a nightmare,” he said, giving you a sympathetic look. “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>give </span>
  </em>
  <span>me nightmares.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You rolled your eyes and looked around to Bokuto, who was scrolling through his phone while he chatted with Yaku about the next practice. That was a hard no. Poor Bo would agree without complaint and wind up with nightmares for a week, clinging to you throughout the night. Catching Akaashi’s eye, you exchanged knowing looks and chuckles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, _____,” Semi said from your other side. He was busy filling out a music sheet with notes for his next possible song, and the way he said your name indicated he was more focused on that than your quandary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, you turned to look at him over your shoulder, quirking your eyebrow at him. When he didn’t immediately continue, you prompted him. “What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, right,” he said, looking up from the paper. He gave you a small smile and tapped the tip of his pencil on the desk in a smooth rhythm, leaving small marks all over the surface. “You should see if Tendo wants to join you. He’s really into horror movies too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, who?”</span>
</p>
<p><span>Semi’s eyes widened in surprise and he pointed over his shoulder. You could hear Akaashi snicker from your other side. The chair on Semi’s</span> <span>other side tipped back on its back legs, and a man with close-cut red hair peeked around his back, waving cheekily at you.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, name’s Tendo Satori. I’ve only been hanging around you for about two weeks now,” he said and, though he sounded lighthearted and jovial about it, you could see the way his eyes remained narrowed, scrutinizing you. And he didn’t look impressed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You flushed bright red, realizing you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>know him but had never committed his name to memory. Mostly because he hadn’t ever really said anything to you or seemed interested in you at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-- well, I’m sorry,” you offered awkwardly. But you meant it, at least. You felt a bit bad now that he was in your face. Trying to lighten the mood, you joked, “I’m _____ _____ and my brain space is committed to horror movies and studying. No space for names I’m afraid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Semi rolled his eyes and Akaashi heaved a long-suffering sigh, covering his eyes with his hand, but Tendo laughed at your stupid joke. His eyes eased up, his smile relaxing, and he now looked genuinely interested. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A horror movie marathon, huh? I’m interested. Why don’t you tell me more?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tendo didn’t actually expect it to go his way. As with most other people, he was sure you were just faking your enthusiasm and would flake out once you were free of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And yet when lunch rolled around and your group of friends were standing in the breezeway, shivering as you tried to pick out some place to go and eat off campus, you fell into step beside him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really am sorry for not knowing who you were,” you offered, adjusting your bag on your shoulder and slipping a pair of gloves on. “Could we, maybe--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cut you off, grinning. “Forgiven </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>forgotten, _____.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hesitantly, you smiled back. He was strange, to be sure. Even though you hadn’t really had a true conversation with him yet, you got the feeling he was different, eccentric and unpredictable maybe. The way he harassed the shit out of Semi and some of the others was hysterical, though. You couldn’t pinpoint what it was that made you feel that way, but it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You were even a little curious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay cool. So if, by chance, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>were </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do this movie marathon, how would you feel about cannibals?” you asked, tapping your chin thoughtfully. It was a theme you had been thinking about for a while, but none of your friends were into horror movies much, let alone a dozen or so movies centered around such a gory theme.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tendo clicked his tongue and you heard a strange clink. “Hypothetically, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” you said, your eyes zeroed in on his mouth, waiting for him to speak again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hummed, his lips curling in thought and his eyes narrowing as he stared off in the distance. Second in height only to Bokuto, he towered over everyone even though the two of you walked together at the back of the group. Speaking of Bokuto, you could hear him over the chatter of the other students around you, talking about the diner just a block away from the school and guessed that that was where you were going. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he shrugged. “That sounds rad. What’re you thinking? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hypothetically</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, obviously gotta go with The Hills Have Eyes. I mean, it’s a classic. And then of course Wrong Turn because there’s so many of those. And, uh…that’s all I have, but that’s literally like 8 movies and if we get past those I don’t know what we’ll do,” you said, weaving through the throngs of people on the sidewalk. You had forgotten you had been trying to see what was in his mouth just a few minutes ago as you avoided toes. You could see the diner sign up ahead, reading “Newly opened” and a list of menu items, but it was otherwise obscured from your view.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A gasp from Tendo startled you and you whipped around to look at him, only to find him staring at you in disbelief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had to fight the laugh in his chest from coming up at the wide-eyed, freaked out look on your face as he said, “I cannot believe you’ve forgotten the most classic of classic cannibal movies, _____. How could you forget The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Relief mingled with amusement on your face when you realized what he was getting at, and you covered your mouth as you laughed. Putting on your best ashamed expression, you closed your eyes. “I can’t believe I forgot those. I’m such a fake fan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kicked out of the club for sure,” he said, holding the door open for you. The bustle of the diner drowned out anything more Tendo said as you followed the others towards a large table in the back corner. After that, you were seated between Semi and Akaashi and the conversation was halted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the time being.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t bring up the marathon again, though you snagged Tendo’s number the day after you went to the diner. The conversation started out about movies and morphed into other topics like majors, highschools, how he knew Eita and how you had met Bokuto and Akaashi, amongst others. It left Tendo in a bit of confusion. The two of you kept up a steady stream of communication throughout the day, even sneaking in texts during classes that could net you extra work or pop quizzes. And yet never once was the marathon mentioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Part of him was bummed because he had kind of been looking forward to the movies, but the larger part of him was unsurprised. Something like that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>way</span>
  </em>
  <span> too intimate, and for someone like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> to want to do something like that with a-- someone like him was too much to hope for. He was just happy that you weren’t avoiding him like most others did; he wasn’t going to ask for more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Except he kind of did want more, and he didn’t want to feel that. The disappointment was already tangible on his tongue and he swallowed it down every time he saw you in the hall, chatting or laughing with someone else. It would ease slightly when you would turn to look in his direction, flashing a smile and waving as you passed by. In class, you started sitting beside him, Bokuto and Akaashi often following behind, and he found his small group of friends growing because of you. Bokuto was loud and brash and treated him like they were best friends, and Akaashi’s quiet demeanor reminded him a lot of Ushijima. Except he was maybe a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little </span>
  </em>
  <span>more expressive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You even started walking home with him, parting ways when you had to go in different directions with a soft smile and a shine in your eyes that he tried not to read too much into. He enjoyed those days, when no one else was around and he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>talked</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You even knew some of the manga he read, and he lost himself rambling about Jump. When he brought it up once, about how he talked too much, you shook your head frantically. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, I don’t mind! It reminds me of Bokuto, to be honest. He can talk about anything and keep a conversation going so easily. I’m kinda jealous,” you said, giving him that satisfied smile again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to clamp down on the feelings, to keep a tight rein on the emotions that kept trying to pull his eyes in your direction anytime he heard your voice or drew his thoughts to you late at night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, he rubbed his eyes, frustrated at the fact that he was thinking of you a-fuckin’-</span>
  <em>
    <span>gain</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Didn’t he have enough to worry about without wondering what you thought of him? He already knew. You weren’t interested. It was fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His phone dinged, the screen lighting up to reveal your name and a text.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>You:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘watcha up to?’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Tendou:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘nm. studying and suffering. you?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘“studying” sksks what’re you doing tomorrow night by chance?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tendo’s heart stuttered in his chest and he groaned, barely resisting the urge to fling his phone out the frost covered window in front of him. For the love of god, could the universe stop fucking with him? Clicking his tongue, he considered telling you he was busy. It would be easiest, and save him the disappointment that was sure to accompany whatever you had planned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But his fingers were traitorous and typed out exactly what he didn’t want to say. Or so he told himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>T:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘nothin. what’re you thinkin?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘well...i’m thinkin about cannibals’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tendou snorted at that and watched the three little dots appear again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘and u’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He choked and slammed his phone down on the desk, wincing and immediately picking it back up to check the damage. No, no way, he wouldn’t look at it like that. It wasn’t like that. You were just inviting him for the movie marathon in a totally platonic way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another message came in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘and me’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were actually trying to kill him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could think of nothing the next day but how much he was looking forward to that night. Once he had finally gotten his shit together enough to text you back, the kinks had been worked out. It was almost a no brainer that he would be spending the night. A movie </span>
  <em>
    <span>marathon</span>
  </em>
  <span> with twelve movies meant an all-nighter, if the two of you could pull it off. He would go home after classes, while away the few hours until around six o’clock, and then head to the address you had given him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unfortunately, he didn’t see much of you that day. You shared no classes, and you had a class when he took lunch, so he ate with Semi and Bokuto that day. Instead you snuck texts to him when you could, mostly talking about how excited you were for that night. It didn’t help, somehow both fanning and soothing his inner turmoil.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you look like you’re gonna throw up?” Semi asked at last. Tendo was staring at his half-eaten chicken sandwich like it had mortally offended him, and he was curious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tendo jumped, having forgotten the other two were even with him, and shook his head. “Uh, nothin’.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Bokuto snickered and leaned in to whisper to Semi, who was already suspicious of his short, clipped answer. Whether he </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to whisper or not, Tendo wasn’t sure, but Bo sure as shit didn’t manage it. “Him and _____ are gonna watch movies tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course you had told Bokuto. And probably Akaashi too. He wondered internally if they changed their minds and decided to join you when they found out. It put a rather annoying feeling in his chest, like someone was squeezing his heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other two were still talking in a loud whisper, watching Tendo’s expression shift and flicker through a myriad of emotions. Bokuto was lost, but Semi could recognize them after so many years of knowing the moody red-head, and wanted to laugh. He was so good at hiding his negative emotions, but when it came to sadness or happiness, he was like an open book. And he was being pretty obvious right then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, that’s pretty big, Tendo,” he said, watching his friend closely. Tendo flinched, shrinking into his hoodie, and Semi nodded to himself. “Don’t let yourself get so worked up. She wouldn’t ask if she didn’t want to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew where Tendo’s insecurities were coming from. A childhood fraught with bullies and fake friends and people pretending they wanted him around only to treat him like a freak. Even through highschool it was that way, with a particularly nasty incident involving a girl pretending to want to date him that ended with Tendo refusing to come to school for almost a week. After that, he kept to himself and the volleyball club, refusing to even acknowledge that anyone else might actually want to get to know him seriously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had gotten a bit easier when he left Shiratorizawa and those memories and most of those people behind. Growing up with them was what had made it hardest, so surrounding himself with fresh people who didn’t have any preconceived notions and rumors about him had allowed him to open up a little. Even Ushijima, across the ocean in California, noticed a marked difference in Tendo’s demeanor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Semi just hoped you didn’t do anything to send him spiralling back into his insecurities.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was easy for Semi to say that, but he had no idea what it was like, constantly worrying if people were being serious or if they were just waiting to pull the rug out from under him. Even now, he was fighting with himself to just get through the day, waiting constantly for you to change your mind and cancel the plans. Every time his phone lit up with your name, he expected it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And yet, even after his classes ended and he arrived home, you didn’t. Just commenting that you would be MIA for a while while you cleaned the apartment and went to the store. And when you came back a few hours later, while he was binging Buzzfeed Unsolved videos, his heart leapt into his throat, but you were only telling him what you had gotten for him and to pick up anything else he might want on the way over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The time couldn’t pass by fast enough while he busied himself packing as slowly as he could. He was already wearing sweatpants but brought a pair of basketball shorts just in case. A clean t-shirt and the other essential items he would need for the night went into a backpack, and when that was done he decided it was a good time to leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unable to help himself, he sent you a text before he left, interrupting whatever you were already typing, the three little bubbles disappearing for a moment while you read his text.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>T:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘you sure you’re alright with this? i don’t have to come over’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>‘do u not want to/’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘?*’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘we can do this another time if you want’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was typing before he could really think about the possibility that that might be the best option, his heart thumping harder than he liked in his chest, and he willed himself to take a deep breath. It was just two friends hanging out, watching horror movies together. Nothing more.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>T:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ‘no i do. was just making sure you were still ok w it.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>T: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>‘leaving now to get snacks. your choices s u c k’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Y:</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> ofc hurry up and get over here</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Y: ‘tf rude’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Locking the door behind him, he slung his bag onto his shoulder and sighed, hoping the night didn’t end as badly as his nerves were telling him it would.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Your doorbell rang an hour later, while you were in the middle of setting up your room for the binge. You were hoping he wouldn’t mind, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable either. It was hard to miss the nervousness and the way he seemed to shy away from you sometimes, especially when you did certain things like reach out to pull something off his hoodie or read something over his shoulder. But you wanted this to be as normal as possible, to prove to him you were genuine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tendo. A lot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was funny and sweet and just as eccentric as you had expected. His jokes were off-color but not offensive, just sarcastic and witty and you giggled every time. The way his face lit up when he heard you sent your heart into a frenzy, and the way it fell and he seemed to shrink into himself a moment later </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It didn't feel like a rejection of you but instead a rejection of </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> and you wondered if there was any way to help him understand that you didn’t want anything from him but for him to be himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Upon opening the door, you found it was only the pizza delivery man, and you smiled with disappointment, until you spotted a shaved red-head coming up behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tendo gulped when he spotted you in your open doorway, wearing woolen leggings and a t-shirt, exchanging a box of pizza for cash and smiling brightly at him over the man’s shoulder. Waving, he waited until the stranger was out of the way before he approached you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” he greeted, peering down at you before scanning the empty living room of your apartment over your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You were unsurprised to see the wariness in his eyes, bleeding into the smile he was forcing on his face. It was your first time seeing a look so fake on him and for the first time you wondered if this was really a good idea. But it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>only movies</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And you </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked Tendo</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It would be fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So you smiled and ushered him in with one hand, the box perched precariously on your other, and watched him shrink into himself like he always did when he came within touching distance of you until he had passed into the living room. Then he just stood there, peering around with that same suspicious look, eyes narrowed and mouth turned down at the corners.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, what do you think?” you asked, pretending you hadn’t seen it as you moved into the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nice,” he answered, letting his bag hit the floor with a thump. The rest of the apartment was silent save for the heater going, and little by little he felt himself relaxing. “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble for little ol’ me, y’know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You giggled at the way he pointed at himself, wearing a cheesy grin as he walked into the kitchen. “Maybe not, but it’s been ages since I’ve been able to do anything like this. It’s as much for me as it is for </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” You punctuated your statement by poking him lightly in the chest, and he feigned pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>wound</span>
  </em>
  <span> me. And here I thought you were treating me special,” he moaned, leaning back against the counter and placing his hand over his forehead. He grinned a little hearing you giggle again, and then the pizza box hit his arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> treating you special, you goof,” you said, opening it up and letting the smell of cheese fill the kitchen. “With pizza. But I think we’d better take it into the bedroom, since that’s where we’ll be watching the movies. Just in case we fall asleep, you know,” you tacked on at the end, suddenly realizing how that might sound. Not that it </span>
  <em>
    <span>meant</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything, but again, you feared making him uncomfortable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Absorbed in your thoughts, you missed the faint dusting of pink on his cheeks, clashing marvelously with his vibrant hair. You carried the box down to your bedroom with Tendo on your heels, eager to see your room. It was about what he expected from you-- a messy bed, a cluttered desk, clothes half in your laundry basket and half on the floor surrounding it. The TV sitting on your dresser was already set up with The Hills Have Eyes menu playing, volume muted. You set the box on the bed before smoothing the covers and crawling on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tendo hovered in the middle of your room, casting his eyes around nervously, looking for a chair or something to sit on. He definitely did not want to assume, but you patted the bed beside you, giving him a quizzical look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna bite, Tendo. Promise,” you said, and though you made it sound like a joke he could hear a line of seriousness at the core. Running his tongue over the back of his teeth, he walked slowly towards you, giving you every opportunity to change your mind, but you just looked impatient until he climbed on beside you. “Alright, now let’s get this started!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Two movies in and the two of you had gotten pretty comfortable. Both of you had stretched out on the bed, but you had decided to lean up against the headboard with your pillows to support you while Tendo had opted to lay on his stomach with his head resting on his arms by your feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he laughed, pushing your foot away where it had been tapping incessantly at his shoulder. You were just doing it to annoy him, and you giggled at the irritated amusement in his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pizza box sat empty on the floor by the bed, but you found yourself craving something else to eat. When you hummed, Tendo looked away from the screen, rolling onto his side and propping his chin in his hand to watch you nibble at your lip. It was cute, he couldn’t lie, and the anxiety he had repressed by getting distracted by the movie came back slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m thinkin’ about...those chips,” you answered, and made to get up. You had to crawl over his long legs and almost fell off the bed as you gracelessly made your move, knee slipping off the small space between his leg and the edge of the mattress. Sticking your tongue out as he laughed at you, you pranced towards the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bring my bags too, would you?” he called, pausing the movie since you had forgotten. It had just started, and you were lucky that he was nice enough to do it, especially when he heard your voice carry back down the hallway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kiss my ass, Tendo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed at that, loud enough that you could hear it from the kitchen and over the crinkling of the bags as you rifled through them. In the end, you shrugged and carried them all back down to your room, along with a few drinks. Maybe you wouldn’t have to get up again for a little while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You shivered when you stepped back into the room. It wasn’t much warmer than the rest of the house, and now your arms and toes were cold. The heater was already set as high as it would go and hardly touched the chill, and you cursed the cheap piece of crap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What, you cold?” he asked, pulling out a bag of the chips he had brought with him. The tab on a can of soda popped and he cursed as it fizzed over onto your blanket. “Shit, sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No worries. Yeah, kinda. But the heater is already on full blast. Ugh,” you said, sitting beside him on the bed again. He was still wearing his hoodie, and up close he was warm, making you realize just </span>
  <em>
    <span>how </span>
  </em>
  <span>cold you were. You were just gonna have to crawl under your blankets because you would never survive the cold like that. “Wait…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a tent on the screen where the movie had paused, and Tendo looked back and forth from it to you with curiosity. There was a calculating look on your face and he wasn’t sure he liked it. “Uh, what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no way he would agree to it. Way too intimate, right? But it really seemed like it’d be right up his alley, and it would be hella fun to build, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>it would get you warm. It was the perfect idea really.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tendo, how do you feel about making...a pillow fort?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The heater continued to buzz in the corner, overlaid by the slight static from the TV, while Tendo processed your question. His mouth had fallen open, brows furrowed while he stared at you in what could only be surprise, and you laughed nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wha-- Seriously?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, you know what, nevermind. I guess it was a stupid idea. It just seemed like it might be fun and--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cut your babbling off with an excited wave of his arms, leaning forward into your space and in the light from the TV you could see a childlike happiness glowing in his eyes. “I’ve never made one but it sounds like fun. You know how to do it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stunned by the turn of events, you nodded. “Well, sort of. Mine have always fallen down after a while though,” you admitted, standing up from the bed again. “We need chairs and books and all the blankets and pillows we can find. And the couch cushions. Probably.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In no time flat you had everything gathered, with Tendou hovering around waiting for you to direct him. It was a pain to get everything set up, and you ended up using the bed since you didn’t have enough chairs. Moving the chairs all over the place until there was enough room inside and you could put the books down to seal the ‘walls’ was tedious, but it was worth it when Tendo crawled in to set up the cushions to seal the space beneath the bed. After padding the floor with several blankets to lay on, you stuffed the pillows from your bed in after Tendo. When you didn’t immediately crawl in after him, he poked his head out to see what you were doing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we didn’t think this through at all, so now we gotta watch the movies on my laptop,” you said as you ejected the DVD from your player. The jingle of your computer booting up played and backlit your face in the glow, and you prayed it wasn’t going to go right into an update. It took a few minutes to start up, so you passed it to him while you plugged the power cord in and ran it into the fort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You could hear the clicking of the mousepad and by the time you flipped off the light and crawled in beside Tendo, the movie menu was playing. You also realized just how cramped it really was with Tendo’s lanky form inside. There was just enough space for both of you, but you were going to have to either sit up with it in your lap or you were going to have to set it to the side of you and lay on your sides.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was tense, staring determinedly at the movie playing and trying to avoid moving too much. Or so you guessed, anyway. Anytime you so much as shifted he would jerk away before relaxing, and you were a split second away from nixing the idea. A part of you was starting to wonder if it wasn’t you that was the problem, but if it was, why had he bothered to agree?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re really warm, Tendo,” you said, trying to break the ice. It was an awkward and clumsy attempt, but maybe you could help him settle down if you showed him you weren’t uncomfortable first?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that just made him pull further away, leaning against the couch cushions. “Oh, sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was already warm and comfortable in your little fort, a light blanket thrown over your knees and warming your toes. And with him beside you, you were actually a little more than comfortable. “No,” you said, waving your hands frantically, “no, like, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m finally warm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was hard to tell in the washed out light of the laptop, but Tendo’s face turned a very bright shade of pink. He tugged the neck of his hoodie up over his nose and fixed his eyes firmly on the flickering violence, annoyed that he was overwhelmed by something so simple. Why did you have to be so damn cute?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it did the trick, even if he didn’t know that was your intention. He finally relaxed and stopped flinching every time you shifted, trying to find a comfortable position. Sitting cross legged only worked for so long and Tendo noticed you moving around after a while, when your knee knocked his for the third or fourth time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You alright? You’re about to bring the whole fort down,” he commented around a mouthful of chips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, well, my back is starting to hurt sitting up, I guess. I wanna lay down,” you said, sounding whinier than you meant to, following it up with a short stretch. It alleviated the pain for a moment, until you hunched over again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He swallowed his chips and returned his eyes to the TV screen, thinking. On one hand, he wasn’t exactly comfortable. On the other, he had no idea what you were thinking. Did you want to abandon the fort?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But you didn’t say anything, fiddling with the blanket for a few moments as you tried to work up your courage. You damn sure didn’t want to tear down your fort-- it had taken you way too long to put the stupid thing up-- and if you said the idea of cuddling up with Tendo wasn’t appealing, you would surely go to hell for lying. The underlying problem was </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What would he say if you brought up the obvious solution?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You were taking too long to answer, so Tendo prompted you, pausing the movie. “Do you want to just get back on the bed again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” you said, and then flinched. You had answered </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>too quickly and that somehow made him nervous and reassured at the same time. “This is really nice I just…I-know-that-you’re-kind-of-uncomfortable-and-I-don’t-want-to-make-you-more-uncomfortable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tendou stared at you, unblinking as he tried to decipher your breathlessly rushed words. After a moment he laughed, still confused, but he could see the anxiety on your face. “I-- what? All I heard was uncomfortable, I think. But you don’t make me uncomfortable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your heart thumped painfully in your chest as that weight left your shoulders. He was so intuitive it was almost scary. Even still, you had to make sure. “Oh, really? You always seem like...weird around me, I guess. I was starting to think I was pushing too hard, I guess?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his head. His elbow brushed the sheet above you and he quickly dropped it. “I’m used to people being uncomfortable around me. Guess it just turned into a habit to avoid people I don’t know. So that I don’t freak them out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not entirely true, given that he enjoyed messing with people, but it was true in </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>case. It took you a moment to answer, and he started to worry that he had said too much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t...make me uncomfortable, Tendo. You never did. You’re a weirdo but not...in a bad way,” you said, and glanced at him to gauge his reaction, worried he would take it in a negative light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he was smiling, eyes fixed on the paused movie and you bit your lip. He was way too attractive and you couldn’t fathom anyone who thought otherwise. Clearly they were just cowards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that’s a relief. It would make things </span>
  <em>
    <span>pre-tty </span>
  </em>
  <span>awkward right now if I did,” he said and bumped your shoulder. It felt like a whole planet was lifted off his shoulders with this revelation and he heaved a huge sigh. “So, if we don’t want to abandon the fort but our backs are about to crumble, what do we do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh.” You blanched, having forgotten about that little hiccup. Your idea was embarrassing to think about let alone explain and if you hadn’t made him uncomfortable yet this was sure to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Uh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he mocked, and twisted around like a snake so his face was in front of you, blocking the light from the screen. “Spit it out before we collapse.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just-- um--” you stuttered, and he quickly realized whatever your idea was, it had you flustered. He was just about to start teasing when you picked up the laptop and set it to the side of you. Rolling over onto your side, you tucked your hand underneath your pillow and relaxed, feeling the pain immediately alleviate. “Now you lay down. If you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your heart was racing in your chest, waiting for him to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was a long, long minute before he finally said anything, and it wasn’t what you expected. Not that you had any idea of </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> to expect.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, are you sure? I mean, we could just--” What was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking</span>
  </em>
  <span>? This was exactly what he wanted and wasn’t it Semi who had said </span>
  <em>
    <span>she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t want it?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Did he really have to overthink everything? You were in a literal pillow fort watching scary movies with him, offering to let him cuddle up with you, and he still thought you weren’t sure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, unless you aren’t,” you said, and was that </span>
  <em>
    <span>disappointment</span>
  </em>
  <span> in your voice? No way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No no, no. I’m gonna take my hoodie off first, though. It’s way too warm in here now,” he said, backtracking quickly. Then again, maybe it was just him that was too hot. It was an actual dream come true, and he pinched himself quickly just to make sure he wasn’t asleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You rolled over onto your back to watch him struggle, his arms brushing the ceiling and walls of your warm little haven as he fought the hoodie. Your eyes widened as it finally came free, seeing the colorful swirls of ink covering his arms. “Holy shit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wha--?” he said, and turned to find you staring open mouthed at his tattoos. “Oh, right, I guess you haven’t seen these before, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nope</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” you said, sitting up and squinting to see the undefined shapes in the faint light. It was almost cute the way he held his arm out to you hesitantly, like a child offering you a drawing to examine and praise. Taking it, you traced the lines covering his smooth, warm skin, trying to figure out what they were. But the shapes were undefinable in the faint light. You could make out splashes of blue and purple, red and pink, separated by black lines or faded together to make </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Part of you wanted to ask, but there was something mysterious about not knowing. “I can’t even tell what they are but god, Tendou, I know they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>gorgeous</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shivered at your featherlight touches, the feel of your fingers skimming delicately over his skin, and your words caused fire to erupt in his stomach and chest. His tattoos were something he was extremely proud of, one of the few things he had that made him feel confident, and hearing you compliment them made him feel so fucking good. Chucking his jacket out into the room, he returned to your side and the two of you got comfortable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pressing play on the movie for the 3rd time, the two of you fell silent. With your head below his chin, it was the perfect position for him to see the screen over you. You could feel the warmth rolling off of him, only an inch of space between his chest and your back, and both of you were well aware of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was nearly impossible to focus on the movie, trying to reign in the urge to just slide back a little bit and mold yourself to him. Nibbling at your lip, you rolled just a little under the pretense of stretching and bumped into him. Just your arm into his, and he didn’t move away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You good? Need more space? I can crawl under the bed if you want,” he said, smirking at you. He thought he knew what you were playing at, but your next words confirmed it. It was the oldest trick in the book and, even though no one had ever used it on him, he had seen it at work with Semi and Shirabu too many times.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just stretching. I’m still a bit cold though,” you said, facing the TV again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suppressing a snicker, knowing damn well that wasn’t what you were after, he offered, “I can get you another blanket, if you need it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The silhouette of your shoulders fell, and you couldn’t hide the sigh that accompanied it. “It’s alright, Tendo. It’s not that bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You really should have seen that coming, you guessed. The swell of hope and the crash of disappointment was painful in your chest, and you tried to focus on the movie again, ignoring the tempting warmth at your back. If he wasn’t interested, he wasn’t interested. It was cool.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which was why you jumped when a weight settled over your side, a snicker filtering behind you as he molded himself to your back. It was slow, hesitant, and you would guess he was trying to make sure you were alright with it. Warmth seeped through your t-shirt and you sighed happily, shimmying back into him out of instinct, and this time you could feel his quiet laughter in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His arms were so long that he had to fold it in front of you, hand coming to rest just underneath your chin, and when you relaxed so did he. With his chin resting atop your head now, he asked, “Better? This is what you wanted, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up,” you whined, hiding your face in your hand. It was embarrassing enough without him having to </span>
  <em>
    <span>tease</span>
  </em>
  <span> you about it. But you supposed it wouldn’t be Tendo if he didn’t make fun of you for everything. It was so easy after that to focus on the movie, now that you had gotten what you wanted. The snacks lay forgotten near your feet, not wanting to move and mess up the delicate balance that was now between the two of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was tenuous and any small movement from either of you could send it toppling in either direction, and you weren’t even sure what it depended on. You knew for sure which way you would like to see it go, but it was just as comfortable the way it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence fell again until the movie ended, which was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> reason you moved. You could probably have fallen asleep like that, but you weren’t ready yet, wanting to bask in whatever you had with Tendo for a while longer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you sat up to change the next movie, Tendo rolled over onto his back, watching you fiddle around with it. Sweat beaded on the back of his neck and he shifted uncomfortably. Seemed you felt the same because you turned to look at him, an apology written on your face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, do you mind if I go change into shorts. It’s actually too warm for these now,” you said, setting the DVD case back on the pile. You felt like you were suffocating in your thick winter leggings now, but if he wasn’t okay with that then you would suffer a little longer. At least until you melted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh thank god you said something. I was about to die in these sweatpants, I swear,” he answered, fanning his face with his hand. You were pretty sure he was just exaggerating </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> though. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” you said, popping the ‘p’, and crawled towards the escape flap, wincing at the sound of crunching and crinkling under your knees all of a sudden. “Oops.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh those had better </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> have been mine,” he whined, flashing the light of his phone towards the bag. He groaned, seeing his bag of doritos crushed. He could hear you snicker outside the sheet as you walked away and growled, “Watch it. Yours are still in here, _____.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You opened a drawer as he finally came out as well and began rifling through his bag, pulling out the pair of shorts he’d packed. When you turned around with a pair of soft shorts in your hands, you found him standing awkwardly in the middle of your room again and laughed. “I’ll go change in the bathroom. I gotta use it anyway. I’ll be right back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your footsteps receded down the hall and he raced to get changed before you came back. His sweats landed on his backpack and he shrugged at himself. What did it matter, so long as they weren’t on your floor?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of the sink reached his ears just as he was climbing back into the fort, frowning at his crushed chips even as he shoved a handful into his mouth. He was so gonna make you pay for a new bag, especially because you had laughed. The door creaked open and the flap shifted, and he almost choked on his chips as he realized just how short your shorts were. Were your legs </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>that long? And smooth? And pretty? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are your chip fragments?” you joked as you made yourself comfortable beside him again. Your hair fanned out behind you and you gathered it up off the base of your neck, twisting it around so that it spread out above you instead. How the fuck was the back of your neck </span>
  <em>
    <span>sexy</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was so screwed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh,” he replied. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Smooth, Satori</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Shaking his head, he tried to gather his thoughts and focus them literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere else</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It worked. Sort of. “Pointy. You owe me a new bag.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You scoffed, smiling at the car full of vacationing teenagers on the laptop. “There’s like four other bags in here. Quit whining.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he wasn’t giving it up, throwing his bag into the corner and hopefully out of the way of your carelessness. Settling behind you like he had before, he once again left space between you, afraid now of how his body might react if he didn’t. “No, all of them </span>
  <em>
    <span>suck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You definitely noticed the gap and wondered if he was just waiting for you to take the initiative, so you did. Before he could blink, you were once again molded to his chest, head tucked under his chin and knees folded around his. He tensed, fingers curling into a fist while he willed himself to chill.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His arm came down around you again, but you could feel how stiff he was. When you made to move forward again, to give him space, his arm locked, even pulling you back again and you grinned. With his arm now lit up properly by the light of the laptop, you realized you could see the tattoos more clearly, and began to trace the stars and fish on his arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t these the spirit fish from Avatar?” you asked, skimming over the white and black koi. It was a watercolor piece, lacking the heavy lines like the ones on his other arm, and you felt him nod against the top of your head. “They’re gorgeous. Who’s your artist?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A friend of mine in Miyagi did those,” he answered, watching you continue to trail up his arms. Goosebumps were raising the fine hairs all over his body, your touches so gentle and intimate, your focus rapt. Higher up near his elbow was what appeared to be two jolly rogers, but they weren’t the normal ones. “Those are from a pirate manga I read in Jump,” he said before you could ask, and you smoothed your hand over them before sliding it back up near his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His heart skipped a beat when your fingers curled into his palm, hesitating before you slipped them between his. He was sure you could feel his heart pounding away in his chest, unaware that you couldn’t because yours was racing fast enough that you were lightheaded. Folding his fingers down over your hand locked them together, but you didn’t try to pull away. If anything, you tried to cuddle up closer to him, dragging your hands so that they were pressed to your chest. It was the most intimate thing he had experienced in recent memory and if his heart didn’t slow down it was going to explode.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The movie wasn’t holding his interest and a new question cropped up in his mind, one he had wondered more than once before tonight and he couldn’t figure out why he thought of it </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he latched onto it because otherwise he really thought he was going to combust. Besides, it would ease some of his insecurity if he got an answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What took you so long to set this up, anyway? I kind of thought you had changed your mind for a while,” he said, staring at the screen. He was sort of taking it in, an anchor point so he didn’t get lost in his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your chest rumbled against his hand when you hummed, and your answer was so mundane and rational that he almost laughed. “Well a part of it was wanting to get to know you a bit before we did this. Didn’t want to invite a total stranger to spend the night, after all. And then it was just a matter of waiting for my roommates to freakin’ leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, are your roommates actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he asked in surprise. He had thought they were just out for the night and would be home-- probably not soon, given the time, but still. “Like, for the weekend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hummed again in agreement, twirling the ends of your hair absently around your fingers. You were locked onto the movie, absorbed as Leatherface chased one of the characters he didn’t care about through the yard. He fell quiet, thinking you wanted to watch uninterrupted, but then you asked, “That’s alright, right? They would have just wanted to join in otherwise and they can’t stand horror movies either, so they would’ve just talked through it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Exactly like he was doing, he realized, and his face grew hot. Hopefully he hadn’t already annoyed you. He nodded, responding in a much quieter voice. “It’s fine. Was just surprised, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a while, neither of you said anything and Tendo managed to focus on the movie, feeling you jump and twitch every once in a while at scares you weren’t expecting. Unfortunately, those movements were brushing against areas that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t need them too and your shorts did nothing to diminish the curve of your ass against him or the slowly growing hard on he was getting. It didn’t help that every time he shifted even a little you would just follow him, as if he wasn’t pinned by your hand holding his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But shit, if he didn’t move soon he was going to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>screwed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The bathroom-- that would get him out of there before he embarrassed the fuck out of himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was too late, though. You flinched and </span>
  <em>
    <span>ground</span>
  </em>
  <span> your ass back into him and he groaned before he could help it. You froze, he froze, he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to die.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-- Sorry. I’m really sorry,” he said, tugging at his hand to try and escape. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but the best option was probably to leave and transfer to a school in a whole different country. He could already hear your words now, an echo of so many times before, the sting of disappointment a familiar feeling around his heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry, Tendo. I just don’t see you that way.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was because he was a freak with a weird name and creepy eyes and-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was high school all over again, being rejected by someone he genuinely thought liked him only to find out they were using him to get to Ushijima or pretending to as a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>joke</span>
  </em>
  <span>, only this time Ushijima wasn’t around and he had really gotten himself into it by agreeing to any of this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But you were refusing to let his hand go, holding so tight he thought his fingers might break, saying his name until he came back down from his panicked high.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tendo, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tendo</span>
  </em>
  <span>, calm down, please,” you were begging. You had rolled onto your back, unable to sit up because you were using both your hands to keep him from jumping up and taking the whole fort down. You could see it on his face when he finally heard you, wide vermillion eyes locking with yours while his heart continued to race.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He remained propped up on his elbow, ready to run at the first opportunity, and you almost felt bad for antagonizing him as much as you had. If you had known your teasing was going to get him this riled up, you would have tried a different tactic-- or not tried it at all. Maybe you had pushed too far too soon, and the skittish look in his pretty eyes worried you that you had ruined it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright, Tendo,” you said, trying to keep your voice quiet and soothing. It felt an awful lot like you were dealing with a wary animal-- like a coyote or a fox. When the insistent tension in his arm faded is when you relaxed your death grip on his fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of the movie was too loud in the unnatural silence between you, and you rolled over to turn it down. When it was only a background buzz, you turned back to him. He was still staring at you without blinking, his eyes devoid of the panic from earlier but now they were eerily blank.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” he said, deadpan. He flinched when you took his hand again, forehead scrunching in confusion. “I don’t understand. There’s no way you-- What are you doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was your turn to be confused, pursing your lips at him. He sounded so lost-- and wary again-- like a child. For the first time, you wondered what his childhood had </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> been like. He talked an awful lot about Ushiwaka and Semi, and the volleyball club in general, but you heard nothing outside of that. It made you suspicious now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What am I doing?” you parroted, finally sitting up. Your joined hands fell into your lap and you stared down at them, petting the back of his hand with your free one. “Do you not want me to?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words were stuck in his throat, trapped by the lump there, and he swallowed thickly. His mouth felt like cotton, and he shook his head, croaking out, “It isn’t that. I just don’t understand why.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why what?” you asked, gentle amusement in your voice. There was no teasing, no malicious undertones that he could hear, like you were waiting to spring the final part of the joke on him. And he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>listening </span>
  </em>
  <span>for it. After years of dealing with it, he had learned to recognize it in people’s words and on their faces. The way their lips would curl and their eyes would narrow just before cruelty would spew from their mouths, he knew the tells and you--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Had none.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was nothing but open curiosity and nervousness-- and hope. A lot of hope swirled in your eyes and he swallowed again. He was just going to disappoint you. If not tonight then tomorrow, if not tomorrow then next week. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>going </span>
  </em>
  <span>to happen--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you like me? </span>
  <em>
    <span>How </span>
  </em>
  <span>do you like me? I’m-- weird. And you’re--” He gestured frantically up and down at all of you. You weren’t anything he was-- a freak. With freaky eyes and a freaky name and a freaky personality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-- um,” you said, and you couldn’t help but smile. There was clearly a lot of baggage with him, and his questions made that obvious. It was likely too much to unpack tonight, especially when you were still only just getting to know each other. Reassurance was what he needed, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>was something you could offer on the spot. “You’re funny...and sweet and...</span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> good looking. Your eyes are so pretty. Um, there’s also the fact that you’re the only person who would watch these movies with me, which earns you a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>of points, in my opinion,” you said, tapping your lips as you stared up at the ceiling. Your face was on fire as you listed things off the top of your head, your throat tight with anxiety as you wondered what he would say in response. They were all surface level things for now, but you knew underneath the armor that there was a lot more to Tendo, and you hoped you had a chance to discover it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He groaned low in his throat, not from disgust but from a deep seated need to believe you meant those things. His forehead met your shoulder, his fingers squeezing yours. He didn’t fight it when you eased back down, following after you without a word, leaving his face hidden in your neck. He was still trying to gather his thoughts and calm his overworked heart. It would be so easy to reject you and be on his way, to return home and beat himself up for letting himself get too close and too comfortable with you when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>nothing would come of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Except something had come of it and he wasn’t sure what to do now. Semi and Ushijima always told him he was too closed off and that someone was going to come around who actually liked him and his ‘weird ass’ and that he was going to lose that chance because of some stupid high school assholes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Was </span>
  </em>
  <span>he though? He wanted to believe you, wanted to trust you, and slowly he relaxed, his stress leaving him in a long, tired exhale.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean it?” he whispered against your neck, and you could feel his lashes tickle your skin when he blinked. His arm was heavy where his hand rested on your stomach, fingers intertwined with yours, and you squeezed his hand as tight as you could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do. I like you and really want a chance to get to know you better,” you whispered back, and it suddenly felt like no one existed but the two of you, protected from everything in the world outside by a few sheets and each other's warmth. There would be things to discuss and hiccups to overcome, but you could worry about those tomorrow. In that moment, all you wanted was to prove to Tendo you wanted him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was your words, whispered softly into the dark, or your hand gripping his for dear life, or the way you let him cling to you like a lifeline, or maybe it was a combination, but when he pulled back from his hiding place and found you staring at him, he slotted his lips against yours without thinking. Your lips parted almost immediately, free hand sliding out from between your bodies to tangle in the close cropped hair at the nape of his neck and you used it to pull yourself closer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When your tongue poked out to glide across the seam of his lips, he let you in on a breath, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. His eyes were squeezed shut tight as your tongue met his, praying that what was happening wasn’t a dream, and he wasn’t expecting it when you gasped and pulled away all of a sudden.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes popped open and he stared down at you with panic. “What? Did I do something wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-- forgot you have a tongue ring,” you said, and the laughed. “Fuck, that’s hot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blinked like an owl, eyes wide as he processed your words. It wasn’t something that he had ever expected to hear in his life, let alone from the girl he was half-making out with in a freakin’ pillow fort. He suddenly wondered if his life had turned into a Shounen Jump manga.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, so are you,” he said, and leaned in for another kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was kind of hot to see him confident and you felt heat pool in your stomach, starting to bleed further down as his tongue slipped into your mouth again. He tasted like the root beer he had been drinking all night, and you couldn’t resist toying with the piercing, swirling your tongue around it and listening to him moan against your mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your shirt had ridden up your stomach as you moved around, trying to get closer to him, and neither of you realized it until Tendo’s hand smoothed over your skin. He froze mid-kiss, waiting for your reaction, and was unsurprised when your hand grabbed his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What he </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> expect was for you to guide it upwards, letting go when you hit your ribs to cup his cheek. Pulling back just enough that he could speak against your lips, he asked, “Are you sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Frankly, Tendo,” you said, and kissed him again before you continued, “I haven’t wanted anyone this bad in forever. Even if we wake up tomorrow and change our minds, I am fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure </span>
  </em>
  <span>right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He groaned, letting his hand hike your shirt up a little higher until his hand cupped under your breast. He wasn’t sure when you had taken your bra off, or maybe you hadn’t been wearing one the whole time, but there was nothing impeding his skin from caressing yours. Your breast was so soft in his hand, topped by a pretty pink nipple that he couldn’t resist pinching. You mewled underneath him, pulling your shirt up to uncover your other breast and he moved to that one, doing the same and feeling your nipple harden at his touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he rasped, gazing down the length of your body. Your thighs were clenched, and his hand migrated lower, fingertips skimming over your skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The heat that was pooling earlier erupted when they met the waistband of your shorts, but he paused, looking unsure again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tendo, I’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>show</span>
  </em>
  <span> you how much I want this,” you whispered and grabbed his hand. He was still hesitant, looking at your face as you slid his hand into your panties, and his eyes widened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so wet,” he groaned, his fingers gliding over your soaked lips, spreading your slick all over them. His fingers quickly found your clit, circling it and you squeezed his hand between your thighs, hips jerking. “All because of me? I’m flattered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Teasing at your soaked opening, he waited for you to balk but you only twitched, panting against his lips before he sunk one finger in, your walls parting easily. You moaned and he swallowed it in a kiss, his tongue filling your mouth again. It wasn’t long before he was fitting a second finger, crooking them up and grazing your sweet spot, his thumb taking over massaging your clit as he pumped them inside you. Your arousal was already high enough that you could feel your orgasm coming on, and you pulled away to announce it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“T-Tendo, gonna--” You gasped when he forced them in deeper, a mischievous smirk on his face as he prodded your cervix. “How-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>, your fingers are so </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” you whined, toes curling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Think you can take one more?” he asked, already fitting the tip of a third finger in. But it was only when you nodded, tears pricking the corners of your eyes that he slipped it in. Your teeth dug into your lip before they parted in a soundless cry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The coil snapped on the first thrust and he groaned, drinking in your face as he tipped you over the edge. No one had ever cum so prettily for him before and he wanted to see it again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But only if you wanted it. His cock throbbed painfully in his shorts when he pulled his fingers from your twitching hole, feeling you shudder against him. Examining his glistening fingers in the screen light, he slid one experimentally into his mouth and moaned. “You taste so good, princess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You gasped at the pet name, a warmth unrelated to the one between your legs blooming in your chest. He said it was such reverence that you flushed, hoping he’d say it again at some point. Never had anyone called you </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>before, at least in that context.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he laid back down beside you, his erection brushed against your leg and he stifled a groan. He was wearing boxers but the friction against his cock was still a pleasurable sensation. Not as much as your hand might be--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Speaking of hands, he nearly jumped out of his skin when you cupped him, squeezing and kneading up the length of him confined in his clothes. A shaky breath ripped out of him, the result of him barely containing a moan, and his long fingers wrapped around your wrist to stop you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s alright, _____. You don’t have to--” But you weren’t listening and the pressure felt too good. His head fell back, eyes fluttering closed, content to let you literally massage his dick until you started tugging at his shorts. He stopped you more insistently then, pulling your hand away. “Wait a second. Let me get ‘em off since you’re so eager, princess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled his shirt over his head first, because it was getting way too hot in there anyway, and then kicked his shorts and boxers off into the dark corner. His cock bobbed against his stomach as he rolled onto his side again, leaking precum already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your hand was soft against his stomach, roaming over the hard planes of his abs and down further, until it wrapped lightly around his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And froze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the-- Tendo, what </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>those?” you asked in a high pitched, startled tone. Before he could answer, you let go and rolled onto your back, exposing him to the light and you thought for sure you had died and gone to heaven. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t just his arms that were covered in ink. His shoulders, chest, and sides were all covered in it as well, swirls and splashes of color interrupted by splotches of black or white or skin. You could hardly make out what the images were in the flickering, inconsistent light, but you recognized flowers and circles, and on his pec you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretty </span>
  </em>
  <span>sure there was a scene of a lake bathed in moonlight. And as your eyes followed the path of colors down, you landed on the thing that had startled you in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Those are--” you breathed, taking his cock into your hand again. There was a ball at the tip, covered in precum, and you knew if you traced down, you would find another just below the crown. Further down on his shaft were five horizontal barbells in a row, and you recognized it as a Jacob’s Ladder. “Fuck </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gladly,” Tendo quipped and pounced. He settled between your legs and tugged your shorts down over your hips, and you had to hold your legs up to let him pull them the rest of the way off. He was too tall to sit straight up without brushing his head against the ceiling, but he braced back on his arms when you grabbed his shaft again. He groaned when you fondled the ball below his crown, shuddering at the intense pleasure. It was one of the major reasons he’d gotten it- to enhance the sensations. But the feel of your fingers gliding over his tip, gathering the precum and nudging the ball was something else entirely. “Holy shit, that feels amazing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice sent shivers through you, deep and raspy and way too needy. But you were unsure of what would hurt him, so you kept your touches light, feeling his thighs tense under yours, his fingers squeezing your calves as he let you explore. Before long though, he was pulling your hand away, pinning it down at your side. “Can’t keep that up, princess. I need more, if you’re alright with it,” he said, letting his cock settle against your cunt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The piercings were warm and pronounced against your folds, and you shuddered when the ball under his head grazed your clit. The thought of them inside you, rubbing all along your walls as he fucked you was too much and you could feel yourself growing wetter, your pussy drooling for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Tendo, please. I want it, I want to feel them inside me,” you begged, rocking your hips. The stimulation was mind blowing and your walls clenched, empty and needy for him to fill you up. And he would, his cock was huge-- he still had room for more piercings below the ones he had. You had no doubt you would be stretching to take him and you keened in the back of your throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you to call me Satori, princess. And I need you to let me know if it’s uncomfortable,” he said, pressing the tip of his cock into your sopping hole. “Sometimes they make it hurt, but you’re so fucking wet I don’t think it will. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> like these, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You were really just answering his question as you said </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but a stream of them fell out of your mouth as he pushed the rest of his cock inside you, encouraging him to continue. The stretch was so good, your walls splitting easily for him, and you could feel every ball just like you had imagined grazing against your walls. The ball at his slit rested snugly against your cervix, and you didn’t even realize you were screaming as you came, hips jerking in his hands as he let you ride it out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was staring at you with what could only be awe, his mouth slack and eyes wide with surprise. “Holy fuck, princess, did you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>cum</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your breaths were coming in pants as your mind spun, trying to come down from the unexpected high. It came on so suddenly you had no time to prepare, and tears slid down your cheeks. “F-Feels so good,” you whispered, fingers digging into the blanket beneath you. “Satori, oh my god.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright? We can stop--” he said, but you shook your head frantically, locking your ankles around his back, and he laughed under his breath. You sure were something else. He knew for a fact no one had ever come just from him sliding into them and a swell of pride filled his chest. “No? Alright, whatever you want, princess. Can I move?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time you nodded and he was slow as he pulled back, making sure you were okay. You were so tight around him from your orgasm, your walls fluttering with overstimulation, but your back arched when he stuffed himself back in, a breathy moan slipping out of you. Hiking your legs higher up on his hips, he bent over you, gathering your hands and pinning them above your head, lacing his fingers with yours. His lips met yours as he thrust into you slowly, grinding deep and stifling a moan. Once again you were playing with his tongue ring, flicking it as you suckled on his tongue. The fort-- and probably the room-- was filled with the wet slap of his hips on yours every time he drove his cock into you, drowning out the low buzz of the forgotten movie still playing. He was being careful, waiting for you to stop being so sensitive, and he knew you were ready when you arched into his chest and pulled away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So good, Satori,” you murmured against his lips, hips rising to meet his. Your eyes were glazed and fucked out, tears still flowing and you could already feel the start of another orgasm, but he was moving too slow. The drag and pull of his piercings had almost all of your attention, the ball at his tip constantly tapping your cervix, making your toes curl with every thrust. “You’re so big, and those-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>-- piercings feel so good inside me. I can feel them </span>
  <em>
    <span>all everywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He snickered darkly at that and kissed your cheek. “You wanna feel even </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>, kitten?” he whispered into your ear, nipping the shell. He could feel you nod against his cheek, nails digging into his hands where he kept them pinned above your head, and then he was letting them go and pulling out of you. You whined, staring up at him in dismay, but he already had your thighs in his hands, prodding you to roll over. “Trust me, pretty girl. On your stomach, just like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a bit difficult to get comfortable, but he grabbed a pillow and jammed it beneath your hips before settling with his legs outside of yours. And when you shook your ass, begging him to hurry up, he couldn’t deny you, not when he wanted to be back inside your tight heat so badly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holyshitholyshitholyshit,” you whined, high-pitched and breathless as he finally filled you again. His thighs trembled as he forced himself not to just stuff himself into you, you were so tight. And the way you were crying and shuddering beneath him wasn’t helping, especially when you gasped his given name like a prayer. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Satori, oh my god</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If you thought those piercings felt good before, you were in heaven now. Everyone of them dragged slowly over the front wall of your cunt, grinding into your sweet spot and you had to bite the pillow to keep from outright </span>
  <em>
    <span>screaming</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And he was so, so, so big inside you, but with your legs trapped between his there was nothing you could do but take him. Against your will, your legs kicked, hitting him in the back as you wailed into the pillow, tears streaming down your cheeks in an endless flood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He snarled into your ear as he planted his elbows beside your head, plastering himself to your back. “You are so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> tight, princess. How do those piercings feel now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So good so good so good,” you babbled, circling your hips back on his dick to get any friction you could. The orgasm that had been building came back ten fold just from him hilting inside of you and you knew that if he fucked you like this you would be cumming in seconds. “‘Tori, please move, please please please.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your needy begging made his cock twitch and you whimpered as he slowly pulled out of you and pushed  back in, intentionally slow to let you feel everything. The pleasure was ebbing and flowing, building and falling because he wasn’t moving fast enough, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask him to go faster, not when you could feel him so clearly. Every time he bottomed out, he made sure to grind down into you, nudging your cervix with the tip of his cock so he could feel you clench suddenly around him. It never failed to make him moan, your slick walls gripping him so tightly as he dragged himself back out. He wanted to make your pussy his new home and barring that he was going to fuck the shape of his cock into you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me what you need to make you cum, princess,” he whispered into your ear. He knew what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>needed, but he was still learning what would make you feel good. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Releasing the pillow from your teeth, the first thing you did was moan out his name again as he buried himself inside you again. You were so close to cumming, your clit throbbing with need and if he even </span>
  <em>
    <span>brushed </span>
  </em>
  <span>it you were going to be gushing all over him. You gasped as he thrust a little harder than before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you don’t answer me I’ll just keep going like this, kitten. I can go for </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>, if you want,” he whispered, warm against your ear. That made you twitch underneath him, and he chuckled. “You like the sound of that? We’ll try it another time. Right now, I need you to tell me where you want me to cum and how I can make </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> cum, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words were dark and sweet and coaxing, and you were sure you had never whined so much in your whole life. “Touch me, please, Satori. I wanna cum all over your cock and pretty piercings while you cum in me, oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bracing himself on his elbow, he forced his hand beneath your stomach, aided by you lifting your hips, and you whimpered when he finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> brushed your clit. It was all it took and you had to bite the pillow again as you creamed all over his cock, whiting out and screaming into it as you shuddered and jerked. He eased you through it, leaving his cock buried inside you while he fondled your clit, listening to you whimper and moan. It was a good thing you had hidden your face because you would surely have woken the whole complex up otherwise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He groaned into your ear as you massaged his cock, so tight that you launched him into his own orgasm, cumming inside you as you had asked. He remained still inside of you even after you had relaxed, leaving small kisses all over your hair before he leaned down to rest his head on the pillow. He had fucked you so slowly that he hadn’t broken a sweat, and yet he was still out of breath and panting. His head swam for several more minutes, until you shifted beneath him. But you didn’t move like you wanted him to get off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, you turned to look at him, a lazy, blissed out grin on your face and said, “Holy shit, that was so amazing. I’ve never cum so many times.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So were you. I’ve never</span>
  <em>
    <span> made</span>
  </em>
  <span> someone cum so many times,” he said, and replayed the way you came just because he had filled you. That was something he was unlikely to ever forget. He brushed some hair out of your face before leaning in to kiss you. It was slow and gentle, belying how tired the two of you now were, and he could see you were ready to fall asleep. “Gonna pull out of you now, princess. Need you to stay nice and relaxed, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nodded, your eyes closing and winced as he slid from your ruined hole. A stream of cum followed after and he took a moment to appreciate it, allowing a smirk to steal across his face. There was no doubt you were his now, at least for a little while, and he committed it all to memory before gently gripping your shoulders. “We should really get cleaned up, then we can go to sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You grumbled cutely but let him help you up, the both of you stumbling blindly to the bathroom. Sleepiness was a thick fog, and you got cleaned up as quickly as possible before returning to the room. The two of you stood in the doorway, looking at the mess of nonsense covering the bed, and then you looked at Tendou.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s just sleep in there,” you suggested, taking him by the hand. He let you lead him over, watching the way your ass swayed as you crawled into the fort for hopefully the final time that night. In the few minutes it had taken him to get in after you, you had already pulled a blanket over your legs and were setting up the next movie to play. Not that you would be watching it, but he understood it was the principle of the thing. This was a movie marathon and it just wouldn’t do to fall asleep without being in the middle of one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once he’d gotten comfortable behind you, you rolled over and splayed out across his chest, startling him. He had expected to curl himself around your back while you went to sleep, but now you were tracing what lines you could see on his chest in the thin light. His hand rested on your waist, the other tucked behind his head, and he closed his eyes, comfortable with your warmth and weight in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Satori,” you murmured, your hand falling flat right over the picture of the lake. “I really do like you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed at that, and you could feel it rumble in your ear, deep in his chest. He was clearly as tired as you were, but you needed to say it. There was something in your half asleep brain that would not stop telling you to say it, and you were in no position to fight it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured as much, princess. Three orgasms are hard to fake, especially around a dick as big as mine,” he answered, and you blanched for a moment before erupting into laughter. He watched you through narrow eyes, fondness bubbling in his chest, until you settled back down against him. “You’re absolutely gorgeous, you know that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So’re you,” you murmured. The nagging had stopped now that you had said what you needed too, and you were falling asleep quickly. “Don’t be gone when I wake up tomorrow, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It already </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> tomorrow, and I’ll be here. There’s nowhere else I wanna be anyway,” he answered, letting his eyes close as well. With your comfortable weight on his chest and your even breathing mixing with the buzzing of the movie in the background in his ears, he drifted to sleep in no time, for once not worrying about what tomorrow would bring.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. some kind of disaster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>tendo knows he is, he was just waiting for you to figure it out</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>i’m a liar i’m a cynic<br/>i’m a sinner, i’m a saint<br/>i’m a loser i’m a critic<br/>i’m the ghost of my mistakes<br/>and it’s all my fault that i’m still the one you want<br/>what are you after, some kind of disaster</em>
</p><p>They say falling in love is easy, it’s falling out of love that’s hard. What they fail to mention is how hard it is to still be in love even when you know it isn’t what’s best for you.</p><p>And right then, Tendo wasn’t good for you. </p><p>It had been several months since that first night and, though you had known it wouldn’t be easy, you had never expected it to be like it was. He had more issues than you could have imagined and a staunch refusal to talk about them. You had your guesses about why which you <em>tried </em>to understand, but the way he handled any small argument or misunderstanding in your relationship was unbearable <em>and </em>unhealthy.</p><p>Even now, he wasn’t speaking to you and it was tearing you apart. You weren’t even aware of what you had done because he wouldn’t tell you and you couldn’t for the life of you recall having done anything specific.</p><p>“Are you gonna do it today?” Akaashi asked, his words soft, full of understanding. The classical literature class you shared with him was over, and he hovered beside your chair waiting for you to gather your thoughts and your items up. He knew most of what had been happening with Tendo and sympathized because he <em>also </em>knew how enamored you had become with him. It was understandable– you had been dating for a while, but he had seen a slow decline in your mood over the last few months. After the honeymoon period was over, he would guess, and the little issues that always crop up in relationships started to manifest. </p><p>He recalled the night two weeks ago when you had come to him asking for advice, and it all poured out over takeout and wine. Even Bokuto, who always saw the bright side of things, remained in silent shock at everything happening behind the scenes.</p><p>You said he was never violent or angry or irrational. He would just…<em>ignore </em>you for hours or days on end, sometimes for things you couldn’t even determine, then come back like nothing had happened. If you <em>did </em>have an argument, no matter how small, he would just walk away without even trying to come to an agreement, then refuse to speak to you like normal until he decided he was done with that.</p><p>Akaashi’s heart broke for you as you sobbed into first your hands and then Bokuto’s shoulder, though he couldn’t refrain from smiling at Bokuto’s sympathy tears. His partner really was too cute for words.</p><p>Then you had spoken the dreaded words he was sure had been sitting in your throat for a lot longer than it had taken you to come to him.</p><p>
  <em>“I think I’m going to break up with him.”</em>
</p><p>The relief that drew across your face as you said that was evident that you weren’t <em>thinking </em>about it, that you just needed support to go through with it. Of course, he and Bokuto were more than willing to give you that.</p><p>“I think so,” you murmured, taking your time packing up your stuff. The text you had sent at the beginning of class went unanswered, but marked that it was read two minutes after you sent it.</p><p>
  <em>We need to talk.</em>
</p><p>It was too obvious what that meant and you were dreading the confrontation to come. You weren’t worried about him getting aggressive. In fact, you were pretty sure you knew how this was going to go down. Like every other argument, he was going to pretend it wasn’t happening and walk away.</p><p>The door was too loud when it opened, the students out in the hall too happy when Akaashi opened it. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw Tendo standing across from the door staring out the window with a pensive expression. Then it clenched with all the emotions you were feeling, good and bad and your head spun with anxiety. He looked so sad, his usually vibrant red eyes dull and blank as he watched whatever was going on in the quad.</p><p>“I’ll wait for you, okay?” Akaashi asked. You nodded absently, eyes still locked on Tendo. For most people, he would be afraid they were going to renege on their resolve and give into the false promises of change. But the change he had witnessed in you over the last few months and the quiet sadness in your softly spoken words a couple of weeks back had given him a different feeling. You would go through with it, and it was going to shatter you.</p><p>Tendo still didn’t look at you when you called his name and, if you had been wavering at all, that shut it down. But he followed you anyway, until you found a secluded spot down an empty hallway. </p><p>You took a deep, stuttery breath. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For what?” he asked, and his voice was icy. He didn’t even seem to care about the tears starting to fall or the way you swiped them away. But it pierced his heart, knowing it was him that caused them, and he knew what was coming. He had known it would end this way the moment he fell for you. He had ended up hurting you just as he’d said he would, and yet he’d let it get this far anyway.</p><p>“I’m sorry for whatever it is I did <em>this time</em>. And I’m sorry, but– I don’t think I can do this anymore,” you whispered, drawing him back to the present.</p><p>Silence followed those words. You still weren’t looking at him, so you missed the widening of those sleepy vermillion eyes you’d so come to love and the hands that caressed you so gently curling into fists at his sides.</p><p>He knew it, but couldn’t stop the surprise, even as the first crack appeared in his heart. “I– What?”</p><p>It was so hard. Without meaning to, you had fallen in love with him, flaws and baggage and all. You should’ve known better. You had known it wouldn’t be easy to love him but it…it was so much harder than you had been expecting. Too much of your time was spent wondering what you had done to upset him this time and why he was ignoring you, because Tendo didn’t talk about his feelings with you. He left them on a back burner on high until they were so burnt they were unrecognizable, and when he was done being pouty he would seek you out and act like nothing was wrong.</p><p>There was no communication in your relationship– if you could even call it that at this point. You couldn’t find a point to being together if every other day you had done something new to drive him away. It was taxing on you, your mental health plummeting because you were constantly worried about if something was wrong with you. It wasn’t until one of your other friends pointed out how different you were that you turned inward and discovered that particular truth.</p><p>You were struggling to keep it together by then, the pain in your heart and the tightness in your throat threatening to overwhelm you. You still hadn’t looked at Tendo. It was too hard– you would never be able to get the words out if he was staring at you with hurt and confusion. </p><p>Taking a steadying breath, you said, “I can’t fix you, Tendo. This– This <em>thing </em>we have isn’t healthy, it’s– we spend more time f-fighting than we do– or you spend more time ignoring* me for things I– I don’t even know <em>why </em>half the time and I’m constantly wondering what <em>I’ve </em>done–”</p><p>You stopped.</p><p>Your thoughts were racing in time with the throbbing pain in your chest and your voice had risen into a high-pitched, breathless mess and you couldn’t <em>think</em>. Breathing in deep, you closed your eyes, letting the tears fall as they may just to give you some relief from the pressure in your throat and once again you missed the look of fear on Tendo’s face.</p><p>He’d seen it coming. He had been expecting it for weeks, but didn’t know he would still be blindsided by it. It was his own fault, expecting you to chase after him and deal with his bullshit on your own. He knew it wasn’t fair, but every time he considered the alternative, he clammed up. Still, he wanted to reach out, to comfort you and tell you he would change, but he knew it wasn’t true.</p><p>His problems were deep rooted and it wasn’t his partner’s job to put him back together– even he knew that.</p><p>So his nails continued to bite into his palms at his side as he let you spill every pent up emotion, just waiting for the final door to slam in his face.</p><p>“But it isn’t me,” you whispered, so quiet he almost missed it. At long last, you lifted your head up and met his eyes. Those beautiful red eyes that you often found yourself lost in were bright and clear and dead, not a trace of emotion anywhere in them. Like he didn’t care, and that only made you cry harder. “I know it’s you and I can’t do it anymore. Everything you do makes me– I’m not the problem, Tendo.” He flinched at the use of his surname and you ignored it. “I love you, you know that? I don’t know when or how, but I do know why. But I also know we aren’t healthy and this relationship is– it isn’t a relationship. It just isn’t. I don’t know what it is but I–”</p><p>He swallowed as your shoulders fell. The words he wanted to say bubbled on his tongue and he bit them back. Hearing you say them now was a cruelty he knew he deserved after the way he’d been treating you, but he still wanted to lash out and break you like you had broken him. But as a last kindness for what you had given him, he only turned and walked away.</p><p>The silence that remained spoke volumes like the space that had developed between you, and you left as well, leaving everything behind.</p><p>Akaashi was waiting for you just around the corner from the hall, watching Tendo shove through the crowd and out of sight. His hand was warm against your cheek as he wiped away the lingering tears. For now, they had stopped, but he knew more would come.</p><p>It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, in some regards. The weight of your feelings for him still remained, and you knew they would take some time to slide off as well. Akaashi was watching you with kind sympathy, his quiet company a relief as you looped your arm with his, letting him lead you out into the warm spring air. It seemed almost cruel that the weather was so nice when you were so miserable, and a few more tears spilled. </p><p>Guilt accompanied every breath that you felt so light following your breakup, but you knew it was for the best. Nothing good would come of remaining with Tendo when he was so mixed up– you couldn’t make him happy if he couldn’t make himself happy, and vice versa.</p><p>Bokuto’s voice rang loud over the sound of the rest of the crowd, waving his hand above his head at the pair of you. </p><p>“Shall we go get something to eat? And it’s Friday, you can stay with us, if you’d like,” Akaashi said, his voice soothing and melodic to your ringing ears. Suddenly you were more than grateful to have him and Bokuto in your life– even if the latter was a bit obnoxious.</p><p>Like now, he was literally tugging you and Akaashi along behind him, talking nonstop about food, not listening to a word Akaashi was saying. But when you looked over to your friend, he didn’t look aggravated. He looked content and amused, staring at his partner with a soft fondness that made you almost jealous as you thought about when Tendou would look at you that same way.</p><p>There was a sharp pang in your heart as you realized he probably wouldn’t look twice at you again. Because that’s just how Tendou was. He ignored his problems and waited until they just went away. And you needed more than that.</p><p>
  <em>i crashed down from a high that felt so real<br/>i never knew how much it would hurt to feel<br/>you gotta hurt sometimes to learn to heal<br/>you gotta get back up and learn to deal, yeah<br/>and it’s all my fault that i’m still the one you want</em>
</p><p>“You’re a fool, you know that?” Semi said. Though it was posed as a question, Tendo knew perfectly well that Semi was telling him what he already knew. As soon as Tendo had shown up in front of him, Semi had snapped that and he could only nod in agreement. “I always knew you’d do this. _____ was perfect for you but you–”</p><p>“I know, alright,” Tendou snapped, curling his fists into hands. It was almost impossible for him to hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall since he’d first gotten your text an hour and a half ago. Like the coward he was, he had ignored it and met you outside your class instead, a part of him hoping it would just go away if you saw him. But the hopelessness in your eyes when you had looked at him told him he wouldn’t get his wish this time. “I know I’m a fucking idiot, and _____ was always too good for me.”</p><p>A flash of your face and the echo of your words replayed in his addled brain.</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t know what I’ve done this time.”</em>
</p><p>You hadn’t done anything. You had never done anything. He was a coward when it came to arguments but when he was ignoring you it wasn’t because of <em>you</em>.</p><p>It was him, all his fears bubbling to the surface and an attempt to push you away, to make you realize you were worth more than whatever he had to offer.</p><p>
  <em>“Whatever we have is unhealthy.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It isn’t even a relationship.”</em>
</p><p><em>He </em>was unhealthy, he knew he was, and it had driven you away from him. He only had himself to blame.</p><p>Semi huffed, watching Tendo closely. He was doing that blank thing he did to mask his feelings when he couldn’t handle them, turning into himself instead of applying the burden to someone else. He was sure he was doing it to you in your relationship too, and you probably didn’t understand because Tendo wasn’t being open. It was a vicious cycle, one Semi had seen too often. “I’m glad you realize, you idiot.” Then, more softly, he said, “I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. I know you love her.”</p><p>Tendo flinched, his eyes closing.</p><p>*“I love you, you know that?”*</p><p>He would have said them back in a heartbeat, given the opportunity. He wanted so desperately to say them but the words had stuck in his throat, and the less selfish part of him knew it was for the best. The situation was already fucked up enough without him stirring it up more. Saying those words back would have hurt more than helped, especially because, deep down, he knew he wouldn’t change.</p><p>At least he could say he had done something right, in letting you go. </p><p>You would flourish without him holding you back and weighing you down with all his problems and baggage.</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>Semi’s voice cut through Tendo’s derogatory thoughts, and he flinched again. He hated that smug, all knowing tone even though he was usually spot on.</p><p>“Alright then, oh great oracle. What am I thinking?” he asked, shuffling along down the sidewalk towards their apartment. Trying to think of anything besides you, he tried to remember what was in their fridge to eat. Old pizza is all he could think of, from when you had come over and–</p><p>
  <em>Nope.</em>
</p><p>Semi snorted at Tendo’s sad attempt at humor. Not that all of his attempts weren’t <em>sad </em>but his heart really wasn’t in it this time. “You’re telling yourself it was for the best and how you aren’t good enough and blah blah blah. You’re still an idiot.”</p><p>“Would you stop saying that?” Tendo asked, looking up to the sky. It was still early afternoon, the sky cloudless, the air pleasantly warm. If circumstances were different he would be spending it with you by his side– then again, probably not. He hadn’t properly spoken to you or seen you in a few days and it wasn’t going to change today either. “My ears hurt.”</p><p>And his heart. He could feel a slow throbbing building up between his ears. A migraine was the final nail he deserved in his coffin and the sadistic part of him wanted to exacerbate it as much as he could. Just to give himself something else to focus on.</p><p>“Fine, fine. Just one more time. You’re a goddamn idiot,” Semi said, glaring at him. He knew he should feel worse for his friend than he was, but he also deserved it. There was only so much sympathy he could give when Tendo refused to help himself. He had never been happier than when he started dating you and Semi couldn’t go ten minutes without hearing your name. Now Tendo was slumped over as they walked, feet shuffling against the sidewalk as he stared blankly ahead, and Semi sighed. “Can I give you some advice? You know, friend to idiot?”</p><p>Tendo groaned, rolling his eyes, but nodded nonetheless. Semi meant well– mostly– and usually gave good advice. Now, if only he would stop trying to make Tendo feel worse. “Sure, I guess. We both know I won’t listen though.”</p><p>Semi nodded, snickering behind his hand. The signal for the crosswalk changed, throngs of people instantly flooding the street. They flowed through and around each other, becoming separated for a few moments, until they met on the sidewalk on the other side.</p><p>“When you two are together, <em>were </em>together, I’ve never seen you happier. And Akaashi says that _____ is– was– too. Do you not trust her?” Semi asked, and watched the way Tendo froze up and paled, inhaling sharply. But he didn’t immediately say no, and that was telling. “If you don’t trust her, you’ll never maintain a relationship, with her or anyone else. Do you really want that, ‘Tori?”</p><p>He hadn’t considered that. Not trusting you wasn’t the <em>exact </em>issue. He felt he could tell you anything– so long as <em>anything </em>didn’t entail things that might annoy you or make him a burden on you. His biggest fear was putting too much of himself into you only to overwhelm you, driving you away. That had backfired pretty spectacularly though, if he had to say so, and now he was left to wonder what would have happened if he had gone that route.</p><p>“No, I guess not,” he answered. To anyone else it would have sounded callous and uncaring, but Semi had known him a lot longer and recognized the sound of a Tendo who was in serious thought.</p><p>“Then you need to change. I get that you’re afraid, but those bullies from elementary and highschool shouldn’t keep holding you back. And who knows, maybe it isn’t too late with _____,” Semi said with a shrug, and smirked at the way Tendo perked up at that. He deflated just as rapidly a split second later, but it was to be expected. </p><p>The smirk fell as Semi considered. The way things stood, you were better off because Tendo <em>was </em>unhealthy, and probably not in a good place to be in a relationship. He didn’t fault you for breaking it off– not when he would have done the same. Still, he’d like to see him happy again, especially with you. But he couldn’t guess if Tendo would take it to heart and try, or whether or not you would wait around for him to decide and figure himself out.</p><p>Shrugging, he glanced at the barbecue place they were passing by and reached out, tugging Tendo to a stop. When he nodded towards it, Tendou sighed.</p><p>“Sure, I’m down. Shouldn’t be sad on an empty stomach.”</p><p>Semi groaned. “You are such an <em>idiot</em>.”</p><p>
  <em>i’m a liar i’m a cynic<br/>i’m a sinner, i’m a saint<br/>i’m a loser i’m a critic<br/>i’m the ghost of my mistakes<br/>and it’s all my fault that i’m still the one you want<br/>what are you after, some kind of disaster</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was an absolute BEAST of a fic for me to write but i think i did it in like 12 hours? this had really good feedback on tumblr so i hope everyone here liked it too!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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